It has been a long time! After Nicky's guilt trip and having dinner with two of the Margolian Project's biggest fans, I have decided to start blogging again. While I have spent an ungodly amount of time playing scrabble online, doing geography puzzles with my daughter, playing Candyland with my wife, going to spin classes and chatting up Senior Citizens, and reading books about North Korea (I wish I could be a dear leader), performance enhancing drugs (there are some real positive things there and Suzanne Somers says they're safe), crazy-ass Mormons (polygamy and talking directly with god could be fun!), and curing my back pain (I have TMS (tension myositis syndrome),or what my wife has been saying all along--"it is all in your head, breathe deeper, and chill the fuck out." Come to think of it, it is kind of like PMS).
Right now I am PMSing about a t-shirt I bought from Patagonia, it is too freaking tight and I know I will never ever wear it. While this may be a minor blip in a normal person's life, I have spent the past two days thinking about how the fact that I don't like to wear tight fitting clothes will impact the rest of my life. What will I wear to a job interview when I need to go back to the rat race? Do people that wear tight shirts feel comfortable? Should I like tight t-shirts? I work out to maintain my middle-weight Jewish Lover Physique and my wife says the shirt shows off my body, yet I still cannot accept this t-shirt into my wardrobe--Do I have body issues?.
I have bought Patagonia t-shirts for years and now they have put form fitting over comfort. I even posted a review on their website. Surprisingly, nobody else posted any reviews on their long sleeved t-shirts! Do people just wear a shirt and accept it? Why are clothes getting tighter while the American population is getting fatter? Why hasn't a company created a line of t-shirts that have different colors, but fit the fucking same? This obsession drove me to my closet where my wife, daughter, and I spent two hours going through all my t-shirts and deciding which ones to keep or give away--I have a shit load of shirts, cause I am chasing the dream of a perfect fit and, in reality, only wear about fifteen of my t-shirts, yet I can't get rid of some cause what if it becomes perfect one day? There are people starving in the world or rebelling against a brutal dictatorship and I am busy battling a t-shirt demon and demanding that Patagonia bring back their old regular fit. I have some serious problems, yet there are a VERY few people out there that want to know what it is like to be a Margolian, this is it! The reason I will always be seeking brilliance is I am too busy thinking about how my clothes fit to see the magic all around me--But 2012 will be different! Tomorrow I will return that t-shirt and tell the Patagonia person to please credit my account and I will hold my head up high, then try to find some jeans:) ! I hope this makes sense and it nice to be blogging again.
If you stuffed all the Sesame Street characters sitting on the shelf downstairs into the shirt WHILE wearing it, then it would be tight. With just you in the shirt, it is what the general populace would term a "perfect fit;" a flattering drape with plenty of room for moving, breathing, and eating.
ReplyDeleteP.S. You're in for an powerful life lesson if you think PMS is a head-problem...
It is so hard to be you!
ReplyDeletedid you actually return the t-shirt??? Dear leaders wear tight t-shirts.
ReplyDeleteJennifer still hasn't returned the shirt, but I have posted two reviews on patagonia's website. http://gear-ratings.com/reviews/patagonia-long_sleeved_fitz_roy_car_t_shirt-mens_reviews.html and one is pending on the hoodie--I have issues.
ReplyDeleteYour issues always make me feel slightly saner and more secure than I actually am. You and I seem to share a very similar strand of the crazy.
ReplyDelete