Why am I Sweating?

As you have probably read (though Max is the only example thus far), we Margolians tend to worry and stress. And sweat the small stuff. I mean really sweat. Fret and sweat and worry and sweat. And I don't think it is the healthiest trait that we have. I feel like there are moments in my life where I can just be okay. Meaning, I'm happy with what I'm doing, satisfied with my contribution to my family and to society, and I feel generally fulfilled by my day to day. Right now is one of those times for me. I am truly in love with my little baby boy and I love getting to spend every day with him. But I always have that fear lingering in the back of my mind, the one where suddenly I worry about being okay. Is it okay that I'm content? Is it okay that I'm not stressing out every single day? Is it okay that I have a loving husband and a wonderful baby and a great family and that I don't have to work a 9-5? Am I too spoiled? Maybe I should suffer more? Is okay that I'm okay?

It sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with being content. But for me, it's wrapped up in so much guilt.

So I try to glean lessons from my seven-month old. He is truly content with being content. And he never questions his own happiness. He lives in the moment. And I wonder where and how we adults became so damaged that we forgot how to just be. I've often said that I think when we pursue self-confidence and being at peace with ourselves, we are really just trying to get to back to who we were as children. It's refreshing in so many ways to talk to kids because they don't question who they are or feel self-conscious about asking questions or about their ideas. They just boldly say what they're thinking and do whatever they feel like doing. I realize that as adults our responsibilities grow and that we become more aware of social mores, but at the core of it, kids have a better understanding of the meaning of life. It's knowing that you don't have to go very far to pursue happiness. It's usually right in front of you.